Short Fiction: The New Guy

 T H E   N E W   G U Y

"Mito," Arden adjusted himself to better take the weight of the standard flag pole of the Terran Exoplanet Survey. "I'm in the Airlock."

"Cycling now Arden." The voice from his comms informed him as the hatch to the rest of the ship closed and then a grinding sound of it locking came from behind Arden. "Exterior hatch opening."

The Atmosphere equalized with a fart of air through a narrow seal.
"I can confirm." Arden smiled and nodded to himself as the alien landscape revealed itself like a dark red wine and he drank the moment in. Beautiful. The thought seemed to linger. "Exterior Hatch is open."

"Huh." The exterior hatch lowered into that dark wine surface becoming the ship access ramp like a fortress drawbridge. "It looks a bit moist."
Mito?" Arden breathed in that new world smell as he walked to the edge of the bording ramp. "We sure we even want to claim this planet?"

"Its the only planet in the system where atmophere is even breathable." Mito's voice buzzed in his ear like he was whispering sweet honey. "Now stop loitering on the ramp and get out there and plant the flag."
"Copy that." Arden took a breath and stepped off. "Plant the flag."

"Surface is some kind of dark red slime." Arden resisted the urge to bend down and touch his reflection understanding that he would certainly drop the flag pole and go face down in the Alien slime. "It looks almost like an oil."
"Oil?" Mito smiled. "get samples on the way back."

""Mito?" Arden stepped forward and the action unleashed a squelch. "How far do I have to walk from the ship to plant the flag?"

"Five hundred metres," Mito blew his nose on a rag. "Then Oath."

"Five hundred." The sound of Mito clearing his sinuses scratched Arden's ear. "Oath."

"Mito," Mito stiffened at the voice of Captain Lank entering on to the bridge behind him."What's going on?"
"Arden." Mito blew his nose again. "I'm letting him plant the flag."
"Alright." Captain Lank scratched his beard. "Make sure he doesn't forget to recite the oath."
"Best make this Official." Captain Lank reached forward past Mito and launched the Recorders. "Folks at home don't get to see this often enough."
"Recorders..." the sound of meowing propellers departed the vicinity of the survey ship as camera drones launched. "...away"

"Plant the Flag." Arden, the red slime caking his boots, focused on the ground ahead, scanning the horizon only occasionally when he heard an audible pitch change in the propellers of the Recorders. "Recite the Oath."

Arden caught sight of something white in the distance.

"Plant..." Arden changed direction slightly and focused on the white colour that now had his attention. "...the Flag."
"Recite..." The red slime now had a rope-like white tendril in it that seemed to line up with the white object that had drawn his attention. "...the Oath."

"Mito?" Captain Lank stared at the recorder feed, noticing Arden's slight course change to the left. "Where the hell is he going?"

"A...d...n!" Mito's voice slapped Arden in the ear as barely audible static. "Y... ...r... .......ng t... l...n l...ft."

"You are breaking up Mito." Arden continued toward the distant white object that had his attention switching off his Comms pack. "Everything's fine. Its just a glitchy Comms pack."

"Can he hear us?" Captain Lank stared closely at the screen watching Arden touch his ear. "What's he doing?"

"He probably pulled his comms." Mito stared at the feed coming off the recorders. The footage was showing no signs of static. "Its a pity the Recorders dont have comms relay capacity."

"Damn it." Captain Lank tapped his hand on the top of the console. Before rubbing his face. "I'll go join him."

"Just..." Captain Lank turned to depart the bridge in search of an environment suit. "...keep recording."

...

"Spotted something ahead." Arden closed on the white object protruding from the muck. "What is that?"

"Is..." Arden stared at the unexpected presence of an organism. "Is that a mushroom?"

...

"Captain..." Mito spoke into the ship-board comms. "Arden just found a white mushroom."

...

"Shit." Captain Lank hurriedly pulled his environment suit on. "How big is it?"

...

"Hard to tell..." Mito watched as Arden closed on the Mushroom that appeared to now be waist high. "About waist height."

...

"I'm not going to make it." Captain Lank chambered an extra round and reached for the additional Ammo clip and pulled down his helmet and sealed it as he entered the airlock.  "Cycle the the airlock."

...

"I Arden..," Arden swung the point of the flag pole driving the impactor into the red slime next to the Mushroom and stepped back to salute the flag. "...do claim this planet."

...

"It's..." Mito watched as the slime around the flag pole that had erupted at the impact of the flag pole gave way and a tentacle emerged and grabbed Arden "...moving."

...

"Shit." Captain Lank burst through the expanding gap of the outer airlock hatch in his Environmental suit, his weapon in hand and took a short cut off the ramp in the direction of the distant junior crewman undergoing the unique experience of a sentient fungi jamming a flag pole up his arse. "Fuck."

"Opening fire!" The weapon unloaded its rounds across the distance as Captain Lank targeted its cap. The rounds ripped through the fungi. "Die you mother fucker."



SEAN ROBERT MEANEY 2024-2025