Valianttheywere

Wednesday, 30 November 2022

Seasonal Greetings: Best Wishes

If you print one off for your christmas card, please donate a jar of vegimite to some homeless person. It contains vitimins that will keep them alive.

Tuesday, 29 November 2022

Short Fiction: Age of Warp - J'MU'H'RN (Part 2)

PART TWO: PERMANENT ERECTION

Captain Brookes woke with a start and clutched at his chest wound.
"What..." He didn't remember falling asleep. He remembered looking down at the black water where something was thrashing about at the taste of his blood. "...the hell is this?"
"Where the hell..." Where ever he was, it wasn't in the cargo hold impaled on a coolant pipe. Wherever it was, it seemed dark, and there was a scent of something he hadn't experienced in several years. Sex."...am I?"
"Woah!" Several someones seemed to be clinging to his back and his front. He didn't remember multiple partners. His hand made contact with something fleshy and naked and moist and... "That is..."
"Who ever you and your friend are," Avery felt over stimulated and then drowsy. "You are good at tha..."
Captain Brookes succumbed to the pleasure.

...

"What the hell kind of landing was that?" Kai Scott contemplated his jaw. It felt bruised. Obviously the impact had been hard. But given they were not scattered across the surface, it was apparent the ship had survived atmospheric entry and the crash landing. "Anyone?"
"Fucking..." The sound of something impacting the transparent aluminium next to him spooked Kai and he now stared at the window where some local predator had obviously collided with the transparent aluminium, the blood of its likely demise now on the glass, as it dropped from view. "...Jesus."
"Awesome." Kai looked out at the barely visible alien swamp for a moment before he turned his attention to the hatch confining him to his crash couch and retrieved the oversized can opener from the emergency locker to one side. Placing it on the hatch, he forced the mechanism to lock down on the door surface. "Okay..."
"...Now move." Kai pushed against the mechanism and the door to emergency crash couch breached revealing the starship hallway was now a vertical shaft occupied by the staircase designed to deploy once the Las Vegas was vertical. There didn't seem to be anything resembling crew activity. "Hello?"

...

Kai found Chief Marlow on the Bridge, the sound of something sexual compelled him to interupt their alone-time but the sight of the corpse of the first officer soured him on the moment.
"What the fuck?" Something was pleasuring the Chief Engineer. It seemed to be a large black leech wrapped around the chief engineer's thigh like a bloated python. "What is that?"
"Indigenous lifeform." The sound of Chief Marlow's voice was as disturbing as it was unexpected. "Its enzymes are healing my wounds, but its venom after a while is... pleasureable."

"What..." Kai struggled to think about something other than what was happening. Kai focussed on the corpse of the first officer. 'What happened to Claire?"
"Impact seems to have killed her." Marlow, the venom taking hold of his brain, felt an overwhelming desire that caused him to stare at the remaining hint of the first officer's sexuality. "Pity."
"Marlow... Focus." Doctor Scott rebuked Chief Marlow. "You know she'se dead right?"
"Huh?" Chief Marlow looked up at the doctor. "Yeah... sure Doctor."
"Let me guess..." Kai Scott focused on the leech. "You are starting to feel like one sexual partner isn't enough?"
"Yeah..." Marlow agreed. There was a need. "More...would be better."
"Okay..." Kai looked around for the bridge emergency medical kit "...Its definetly time to remove your friend."

...

"No don't." Captain Brookes, gaunt and on the edge of death cried at the overwheming emotion of being abandoned by his lovers as the bloated leeches dropped into the black swamp water. "Please."

...

"Lets try some salt." The large leech-like creature released Chief Marlow's thigh and made a sound much like a scream as Doctor Scott applied the Saline spray to its body causing it to drop to the floor and attempt to find some other place to be. "And that's a yes."
"Doctor," Chief Marlow instantly felt withdrawal symptoms. "I need you to stop torturing it and put it back on me."
"No," Doctor Scott pulled the Taser from the medkit and repeatedly stunned the suddenly enraged Marlow until the Chief Engineer succumed to a state of unconciousness. Scott turned the weapon on the Leech as it flailed at him out of survival. "I don't think so."

...

"Chief Marlow?" Doctor Scott pulled back the shutter and looked into the Quarantine airlock at the only human patient on board causing Chief Marlow to lunge at the opened shutter screaming like a mad dog. "That wont do."
"Patient Marlow still showing violent symptoms of withdrawal." Kai Scott shocked the Patient into unconciousness and closed the shutter. "Application of Taser necessary."

"Hello there." Kai stared at the giant bloated leech testing the limits of it's container. "I see you are finally making a recovery."

"I'm just popping down to see..." Doctor Scott waved a Saline bottle in front of his new pet and sprayed the glass of the container causing it to recoil out of recognition. "...if there are any more of you on board."

Sunday, 27 November 2022

Auld Wormish: would we buy Dragon Magazine if the Art was coloured?

The answer is probably yes...

Linguistic Archaeology: GLM-DECEMBER2022 (PDF)

Global Linguistic Map Dec 2022

Friday, 25 November 2022

Linguistic Archaeology: The spread of the coconut

Coconut in almost every language

1. Coconut
2. klapper
3. kokosit
4. kokonati
5. juzat alhind
6. kokosi
7. *L (assamese)
8. Coco
9. kokos
10. coco ye
11. kokoa
12. kakos
13. Nārakēla
14. *YL*M*L* (bhojpuri)
15. kokosov orekh
16. lubi
17. Yēzi
18. coccu
19. kokosový ořech
20. kokosnød
21. kaashi
22. *L* (dogri)
23. kokosnoot
24. kokoso (esperanto)
25. Kookospähkel
26. koklozi
27. niyog
28. kookos
29. noix de coco
30. kokosnút
31. kokosi
32. Kokosnuss
33. Karýda
34. Coco rehegua
35. Nāḷiyēra
36. Kokoye
37. Kwakwa
38. niu
39. K*K*S (hebrew)
40. naariyal
41. Txiv maj phaub
42. Kókuszdió
43. Kókoshneta
44. Akụ oyibo
45. Niog
46. Kelapa
47. Cnó cócó
48. Noce di cocco
49. Kokonattsu
50. klapa
51. Teṅgina kāyi
52. daung
53. Kakao
54. kokosnoot
55. kokoneos
56. Kokona
57. Gûzê kakawo (kurmanji kurdish)
58. C*G*E*N* (sorani kurdish)
59. makphav
60. Cocoes (latin)
61. Kokosrieksts
62. Kokoti
63. Kokoso
64. Muwogo
65. Kokosnoss
66. *L (maithili)
67. Voanio
68. kelapa
69. nāḷikēraṁ
70. Ġewż tal-Indi
71. Nāraḷa
72. *N (manipuri)
73. aonesee
74. Narivala
75. Kokosnøtt
76. Kookoo
77. K*PRH (pashto)
78. NARGYL (persian)
79. Kokosowy
80. Nārī'ala
81. Nucă de cocos
82. popo
83. Kokonate
84. Khókhónate
85. NARYL (sindhi)
86. pol
87. Qumbaha
88. Kalapa
89. Nazi
90. Norçil
91. Tēṅkāy
92. Кокос
93. Kobbari
94. Maphr̂āw
95. *T (tigrinya)
96. Khokhonati
97. Hindistan cevizi
98. Akutu
99. NARYL (urdu)
100. *Q (uyghur)
101. Dừa
102. Cnau coco
103. Ikhokhonathi
104. kokosnus
105. Agbon
106. Ukhukhunathi

Popularity of Use
A      %     E     %      I      %     O      %       U        %
53 50%    29 27%   34 32% 61 58%      22 20%

B      %     C     %      D      %     F      %       G        %
6    5%     16 15%    9    8%     0    0%      10    9%

H      %     J     %      K      %     L      %       M        %
15 14%    2   1%      56 53%   24 22%     8      7%

N      %     P     %      Q      %     R      %       S        %
50 47%    12 11%   2     1%     19 18%     31 29%

T      %     V     %      W      %     X      %       Y        %
22 20%    6   5%      6    5%      2    1%      14 13%

Z      %
8   7%

Popularity of use
58% O:
53% K, O:
50% A, K, O: Kakao, kokoa,
48% N, A, K, O:
33% I, N, A, K, O: Kokona, *N (manipuri), Kookoo,
29% S, I, N, A, K, O: Kokoso, Kokosnoss, kakos, kokosnød, kokoso (esperanto), kookos, kokosi, K*K*S (hebrew), kokosi, kokos,
27% E, S, I, N, A, K, O: kokoneos, aonesee,
22% L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: *L (maithili), *L* (dogri), *L (assamese),
20% U, T, L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: Akutu, kokosnus, Kokosnuss, niu, Kokonattsu, kokosnút, lubi, Kokonate, *T (tigrinya), Kokosnøtt, kokonati, kokosnoot, Kokoti, kokosit, kokosnoot,
18% R, U, T, L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: Kokosrieksts, Nāraḷa, Nārī'ala, Nārakēla,
15% C, R, U, T, L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: Norçil, Кокос, Cnau coco, Cocoes (latin), Coco, Cnó cócó, coccu, Coconut,
14% H, C, R, U, T, L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: Ikhokhonathi, Ukhukhunathi, Khokhonati, Khókhónate, kaashi, Kókoshneta,
13% Y, H, C, R, U, T, L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: Tēṅkāy, NARYL (urdu), NARYL (sindhi), Karýda, Nāḷiyēra, Kokoye, naariyal, *YL*M*L* (bhojpuri), coco ye,
11% P, Y, H, C, R, U, T, L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: K*PRH (pashto), popo, klapa, kelapa, pol, Kalapa, Kookospähkel, Kelapa, klapper,
9% G, P, Y, H, C, R, U, T, L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: C*G*E*N* (sorani kurdish), NARGYL (persian), Teṅgina kāyi, Coco rehegua, Niog, niyog,
8% D, G, P, Y, H, C, R, U, T, L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: Nucă de cocos, Dừa, daung, Noce di cocco,
7% Z, M, D, G, P, Y, H, C, R, U, T, L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: nāḷikēraṁ, Nazi, Kókuszdió,, Yēzi, koklozi
5% W, V, B, Z, M, D, G, P, Y, H, C, R, U, T, L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: Hindistan cevizi, Agbon, Kobbari, Maphr̂āw, Narivala, Kokosowy, Ġewż tal-Indi, Muwogo, Voanio, Gûzê kakawo (kurmanji kurdish), makphav, Kwakwa, Akụ oyibo, kokosov orekh, kokosový ořech,
1% X, Q, J, W, V, B, Z, M, D, G, P, Y, H, C, R, U, T, L, E, S, I, N, A, K, O: Qumbaha, *Q (uyghur), noix de coco, Txiv maj phaub, juzat alhind,
0% F,

Conclusion: originating in the O linguistic group,

O group                              Sex      %         Dev. Chain              Bandgap
Luo                            M 89%       (O; I; N; A)
Italian                                     M         88%      (O; I; A; R, E)
Zapotec Pantheon                            87%     (O; C; I; A; N, E)
Benin                               M        82%      (O; A; E; S; R)
Benin                                       F      82%      (O; E; S; I; A, N)           B, G
Sesotho                             M 80%      (O; L, A; E; T)
Portugese                              M        78%      (O; A; I; R; E; L)
Basque                                   M        75%      (O; A; N; R)
Spanish                                  M        74%      (O; A, I; E; N)
Sumerian (U=O)                                72%     (U; A; S, I; M)
The Shogi Game                              66%     (O; I, K, A)
• Coconut                                58%     (O; K; A; N; I; S)
Planets of Asimov's Foundation   54%     (O; E, R, N)

The earliest ard at 50% with Kakao (kinyarwanda), and kokoa (basque) followed by a bandgap at 48% before recovery at 33%. Peaking at 20%, declining down through 7% before again peaking at 5%. Then declining through 1%.